Sunday, October 17, 2010

两性关系 The Relationship...

以下是十月十四日的状况~~

今天又听到一些不想知道的东西。一气之下写了个超级粗口博文,后来和朋友煲了一轮粥之后,心情平复多了,也把那烂博文给删掉了(还是戒不掉佛家里的嗔毒,唉。。。)

我们的话题都围绕在两性关系。

男方认为:
1)追求的阶段是最爽的,因为有未知因素在里头
(有忐忑不安的快感?)

2)拍拖两三年后就要进入另一个阶段,否则感情会有危机或转淡
(这时我抗议,不能因为一般的世俗期望而进入另一阶段 - 不能因为‘是时候了’而结婚,不能因为两公婆没话题了而生孩子,一定是要发自内心想做的才做!真的是见鬼。。。)

3)女方主动追求的话其实可以试一试,都ok 的
(那个。。。我说,要试是对的没错,但是那个‘都ok’的态度就有点要不得啦,因未你可能根本不知道自己真正喜欢什么,要什么啊。觉得‘都ok’和‘都无所谓’有点类似,不敢恭维。。。)
4)睡醒了不记得了。。。 ==’

女方(就是我啦):
1)谈恋爱的阶段是最爽的,因为没有被最求时的模糊的感觉
(鬼懂你是不是喜欢啊,等下搭错线不是很‘鱼’??)

2)在一起久了虽然激情不再但是还是可以在生活细节里注入小小的新元素,让习以为常的生活来点小惊喜 (比如说。。。可以莫名其妙的问你的另一半,猜猜香蕉是公的母的?)
(ok, 这时我的朋友应该是翻了个白眼,他说“你还真天真”--〉老兄,没有天真就没有希望,那就真的会憋死叻)

3)在一起久了,如果试着改变配合还是合不来的话,宁可分开,总比同床异梦,貌合神离来的好,更糟的是各自在外头寻找自己的天地。。。
(朋友说“不行。。。我很有责任感的,不能说丢就丢--〉所以他总是等人丢他。。。活见鬼。。。)

我是这样觉得啦,把关系简单化,一定要学习尊重和接受,不要企图改变别人来迎合你,要知道,你认识他/她的时候人家已经是这样的了,不能接受就不要去捣乱人家的生活,要捣乱,就要先接受!

珍惜眼前人,珍惜每一刻吧!

Below happened on 14 Oct, 2010 ~~

Again I was told about something that I long avoided. Freaking angry and I wrote a super vulgar post with big WARNING sign on top, but after a long ‘phone porridge’ conversation with friend, I manage to regain my peace and thus deleted the super 4 letters word post :P (ok I still couldn’t get rid of the ‘angriness poison’ as buddhism mentioned.

We talked about relationship.

My guy friend think (guy not gay ok :P ) :

1) The chasing stage is the best, due to the excitement of either being accepted or turn down, the unknown ‘surprised’ that lying ahead
(the excitement that bring by uncertainty??)

2) After dating 2-3 years, you’ve gotto move into another stage, otherwise, either the relationship will become seriously tasteless or chances of breaking up is high
(ok I protested this shouldn’t be the way. You don’t move on for the sake of moving on! It has to be from your heart, you wanted to, not you have to!)

3) If the girl take initiative or proactively being nice… it’s OK one… can give a try
(ok, I said : ‘can give a try’ is true, nothing’s wrong, but the ‘OK one’ attitude is not so welcoming lo, coz you might not even know what you really want or what you really like. ‘Its ok one’ attitude is quite similar with ‘I am fine with it’…hmnm… you seriously ok? Could be dangerous you know…)
p.s. friend said it shall be 'ok geh' not 'ok one' **sweat =='**

4) Errr.. ok, couldn’t really remembered after woke up … :P

Women said (which is me lah):
1) Dating stage is the best, coz there is no vague /doubt feeling(eh who knows u really like me or not right? What if ‘wrong channel again, very ‘fish’ lah…), and you just enjoyed the pleasure of love!

2) Although the passion might reduced after a period of time, but still I believe we can pour in some new small elements in the daily life, to bring little difference/happiness in our so call routine boring life (say..out of sudden asking your partner if the banana is a he/she??)
(ok I think at this time my friend had rolled his eye ball & he said “ eh you really very naïve eh?” --> hallo brother, no naïve no hope mah, see how happy are the kids? Coz they are naïve mah! hehehe)

3) If after being together for long, after you’ve really tried and compromised, and thing still didn’t work out, I rather choose to get apart instead of die die stay together yet spiritual away, grown apart, worst is having our own ‘fun’ outside…
(friend said “cannot, I very responsible one, can't just ditch people like that….And so, he always appeared to be the one who get ‘ditched’ eh?)

Well this is how I feel – simplify the relationship, learn to respect and accept, don’t simply request other to change to match your expectation (you must know that the time you know him/her, they are already like that mah, why trying to change them?). If you couldn’t accept your other half, don’t go and mess up people’s life ok, if you plan to mess them up, then please first learn to accept!

Appreciate whom you have now, and treasure every single moment!

20 comments:

xiaocai 蔡庆晖 said...

好勤快。还双语呢。

LION GIRL said...

Casendra dear, all relationships are private. Only the persons involved can control the "relationship" game. You n I can talk till the cows come home also no solution one! That is why it can get people geram listening and trying to get sense into the involved parties.
At the end, the involved party has to make the final decision on his or her own!
As good friends, we can only let our ears and time to be there when they are needed. And always bear in mind you are only listening to one side of the story at all times unless both parties talk to you at the same time. It is normal for individuals to protect themselves first by fault finding another.
Stay calm. Stay clear mind and stay away. Just be a good friend to lend ears and shoulders, k?

Casendra said...

庆晖,其实一直都想坚持双语,只是有时懒惰有时又太累,才会出现时单时双的状况,实在是不好意识。。。 :p

Lion darling, yes, agreed and noted :) hehe, this post hor, just a casual discussion after I heard the 1FM morning topic ;) Normally I also dont give advise coz we wouldnt know what happen exactly in between but just to prompt questions to make them think, or like u said, listen lo :)

Hey, you've got the counsellor skills! Can consider swap line if you're bored about accounting :P

Lisa717 said...

dear, you got your points there!!! not bad not bad.. you have good thoughts^^

Lonewolf said...

每个人都有自己的爱情观。没有对或错,只有认同或不认同。

认同的,愿打愿挨。不认同的,就说bye bye。不用动气,清官难审家庭事。。。

FaiTh said...

relationship can be very very sweet but it can be very poisonous as well. Depends on how both of you compromise to each others.

for me, treasure them and do not take them for granted. even if it doesn’t work out well, do not regret what once made you smile....

Casendra said...

Lisa, talk is always easy geh.. hahahaha

Wolf, Faith, erm... actually hor, this is just a 'record' of our conversation leh, didnt really debate on anything lah :d

xiaocai 蔡庆晖 said...

我也是,写不到几段就想收工,哈哈。

Jeff Tan said...

错过了可能是你一生人唯一的超级粗口博文,是不是损失呢?唉。。。我回来时记得给我看啦!
男:
1)爽嚒?我好想吃了很多苦。。。
2)拍拖三年结婚就是我,是在说我吗?拍拖超过十年还结婚的我看过不多,就两对。
3)呃。那男生主动追求的话,是不是也都ok的?
应该不ok吧!要不然以前我哪会吃苦。

女:
1)爱在暧昧不清时最美。鱼不鱼,我不知道啦。
2)公蕉(广东)当然是公的啦!哈哈!
3)你的朋友应该是对自己没责任,对爱没责任。。。

从来不要特意改变自己,这样是没有幸福的。

fufu said...

interesting conversations but well i think i am not qualified to leave any comment because i still am a loser ><

Casendra said...

Jeff, 没有影射你的意思啦,你是疼老婆行的所以不是吃苦是迁就啦。。。

Fufu, dont be silly, you are not a loser at all! :) I strongly believe your future gf will be very fortunate as you are working on your future right now, the time you reap, its the time she 'hiong fok' also ;) please feel free to comment!

Anonymous said...

妖, missed左篇 "超级粗口博文" 添


老鬼

Casendra said...

hahaha...看来大家都很想骂个痛快。。。

[SK] said...

嘩, 看你斯斯文文的, 原來你會爆粗的!! 真的是人不可貌相哦, 你是不是一個很凶的女人來的?? 哈哈.. :D

哎呀, 這些男男女女的東西, 不用那麼在乎喇, 當作是兩性笑話來看就好了囉~~ :)

Casendra said...

SK, 恐怕你是这世界上最后一个说我斯斯文文的人啦, 哈哈哈。。。。

我绝对是个不折不扣的凶女人 :p

哎呀,我不在乎啦,只是觉得那对话很搞笑所以写下而已 :)

yinkoon said...

Hey Casendra,
Was thinking of reading it yesterday but only today got time... I think relationship is not so easy. There is no definite start and ending. Finding the right person to spend a moment of sincerity is hard enough... and this is for a life time. Should be miracle isn't it?

Casendra said...

Yin Koon, it is hard to find someone so 'same channel' but...not to the extend of needed miracle lah :) Have hope, and work on it, be positive and things will goes that way :)

yinkoon said...

:) Thank you. I had not use word like 'hope' for a long time.

Yes. relationship between people need some effort and hope. ^^

mememe said...

Personally, I believe there is always something to look forward to at every stage. At the end of the day, when both of u look back, you would probably only c d sweetness of it :D

Casendra said...

YinKoon, welcome :)

mememe, hmnm... u are pretty much positive :P

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